By sharing and connection as much as we are these days, are we becoming more superficial and caring less?


I’ve always been a person who shares a lot, maybe too much at times. I think it’s my way to make things feel like they’ve really happened – to make them feel real in a way.

Yesterday, after 3 months of hard work with dieting and workouts where I lost 17 kilos, I shared a picture of myself half naked with thousands of people. If that’s not sharing I don’t know what is.

But are people interested in the things I’m sharing? Or am I just broadcasting stuff into a crowded room where everyone is looking the other way?

Even back in 97-99 I shared almost everything about myself. Around that time people told me I would get robbed and killed if I revealed my real name online. And when I one day put a picture of myself there aswell they thought I was out of my mind. Nowdays “we all do it”. We share our name, where we live, work, who our friends are, where we are at, our vacation plans – it’s all about sharing these days.

But not really that deep intimate sharing you would do with your closests of friends around a good meal and a bottle of wine – the sharing we normally do is more like advertising. We advertise to get attention, appraciation, regocnition. Much in the same way brands do.

When I think of it, people are becoming more and more like brands aren’t they?

But with this kind of sharing most of us do these days, what happens with the deep deep thoughts and emotions that we used to share with our close friends. Do we still do that? Do we do it often enough?

Are sharing things trough the internet making us share less personal stuff with our best friends, and share more superficial stuff with our so called friends (or connections) on Facebook?

It sometimes feels like that’s the case, and that makes me sad. It make’s me feel like we made a mistake somewhere, we created a monster and it’s hard to turn that monster around and in the right directon.

Because sharing our deep thoughts and emotions is important, right? We have so many connections, we like so many brands, we read so many articles every day that it’s hard to make room – and time, and be able to focus on deep connections and create memorable experiences.

I’m in the process of disconnecting more. I’m a guy who have lived off, and worked with the internet since the early days – and now I’m focusing on using it less. I plan to leave my smartphone at home when I take a vacation in a few days, and just have a dumb one. I turned off all notifications on all my digital devices. I try to just check my email a couple of times a day. I don’t read regular online newspapers anymore. I unfriend and unfollow every time I feel that I don’t have any value of the connection.

It’s hard, but it’s working. It helps me focus on what’s important. Relationships, people, experiences, stories, emotions. Creating memories.

I’ve learned during the last year that the more clutter and stuff I get rid off, the more I’m able to spend time on the things that really matters to me. It helps me focus. I have deeper conversations, I have richer experiences and best of all – I’m happier.

I still advertise myself online, but I’m slowly starting to get back to actually sharing again. Sharing stuff that matters to me, and that hopefully matters to others around me aswell.

Thomas Moen

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